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A(n)nals of Online Dating: Fine. Every time you rescue a kitten from a burning building, I will shave my legs. Deal?
But men have an obligation to rescue kittens from burning buildings, pay for your drinks, hold the door open for you, keep their hair neat, go to war and many other things. I’m just saying… Society worldwide really does put more obligations on men than women all around. There are few things women…
(Source: annalsofonlinedating)
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Dumb Things White People Say: Privilege helps.
If you’re extremely light skinned or white skinned
and dating someone long term
your skin color almost undoubtedly helped
whether you wanted it to, or realized it did, or not.
It really does help. Even if it took me forever to get into a longterm…
Can I just note that I’ve heard a lot of white guys say they would never date a black girl, but might make an exception if she was light skinned or biracial. Many guys find Beyonce and Halle Barry attractive, who are both light skinned and/or biracial. Because white guys find black women so unattractive, we are usually limited to dating ONLY black men, as they’re the only ones to see as as attractive.
And even THAT rate is getting smaller because black MEN are not limited to only dating in their race. Women of other races who date black men, while not to downplay whatever feelings they may have for the person, will be seen as “progressive” and “not racist” for dating a black man. And black men will be seen as leveling up for having a white, Asian, light skinned black, or non-dark skinned PoC woman. This isn’t new; if you read Zora Neal Hurston’s Their Eyes Were Watching God, the main character, Janey, makes other black men jealous of her husband because she’s light skinned. She’s seen as more desirable because she’s light skinned. And unlike other black women in the story, she’s able to leave her husband to pursue love, and move on to another, even younger man (which was a no-no for women back then), after her second husband dies. In other words, she goes through three marriages in her life, while black women are basically forced to be tied down to the one guy they got in young life. To assume that her being light skinned didn’t help her have those options is naive.
And especially since a lot of black men in academia tend to date outside of their race, this explains the phenomenon of black women tending to date and marry men below their academic level. In most relationships, people date in the same academic level. So people who just have a high school education tend to date people with high school education while people with doctorates tend to date other people with doctorates. When black women are the only race in which the women go to, and graduate from, college at a higher rate than their men, this already limits which men we would find desirable (again remember that MOST-not all but most-people wish to date in their same academic level). And when the black men on this level are less likely to date black women, this GREATLY limits who a black women might able to date. And since unlike our black men, women don’t have the options to just date outside their race, they can either do one of two things; get used to most likely not dating much in their life, or dating below their academic level to open up more options. Again, this is why black women are usually seen dating below their academic level or are seen as one of those “career-oriented” women who are too busy with their careers to date. Though that’s not the case, but people think of us that way and the blame is put on US for not finding guys when we are seen as so undesirable.
because this is some real shit right hurr
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White Men’s Hostility to Black Women: A Deeper Look
Census data reveal that the interracial marriage rate of black women (and mainly white men) has only modestly increased from 1% in 1970 to 4.1% in 2000. Research also shows that black women are overwhelmingly excluded as interracial dating partners, with one study showing that white men excluded black women as dating options at 93 percent.
…
“Just the term ‘black women’ conjures up thoughts of an overweight, dark-skinned, loud, poorly educated person with gold teeth yelling at somebody in public. I hope that doesn’t make me racist but honestly that’s the 1st thing I think of.”
This respondent is middle-class with no black female friends, rare interactions with black families growing up, and who states his interactions with black women only consist of work-related experiences, yet, he expresses strong racialized, gendered, and classed views of black women as the first impressions that come to his mind.
Two things I don’t like about this:
1. There is no account taken of whether or not black women feel happy about dating white men. A quick scan of craigslist (which is entirely anonymous) indicates that this is not the case; that in may cases black women want to date black men exclusively. Is this also racist? [WARNING: THE PLURAL OF ANECDOTE IS NOT DATA] I have a very mixed racial pool of friends, and I’ve never had a black girl show any kind of romantic interest in me. I’ve had Asian girls, and Mexican girls, and white girls and so on show some sort of romantic interest, however fleeting or light-hearted, but it’s never happened with any my black female friends. What does that mean?
2. There is a very sinister and disturbing implication throughout this piece that it is the function of the white man to choose his mate. That he gets to make that decision, and if he does not choose you, you are disenfranchised as a result. I should hope that the days when the white man’s decisions are accepted as the default setting, or even exalted, are over.
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HORMONAL TRANS REX: Can ya'll do me a favor?
Can I get opinions from ya’ll?
What are your ~feelings~ on self-proclaimed lesbians who date transgender men? (Or, self-proclaimed gay men who date transgender women)
I don’t care where you tell me; reblog this, send me an ask - anon or not, whatever.
I HAVE NEVER, EVER,…
(Source: holdontoyourassbutts)
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Tall People Have Problems Too: What's wrong with dating or being with someone shorter than you?
While posting many problems and concerns that tall people go through, I try to make sure the posts are as relatable as possible since I have a diverse group of tall people following the blog; straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, ladies, gents, etc, etc.
Even a couple of short people I believe.
But…
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New Dating Book Says Feminism Ruins Relationships, Women Can Stop Men From Cheating
According to this book, by two women who call themselves “the man whisperers,” feminism is killing romance, because men only like women who are docile and doting.
And guess whose problem that is? If you guessed whiney, insecure dudes, you guessed wrong! It’s up to you, successful ladies, to bat your eyelashes and reassure your lover (who is a man, because all real relationships are straight, right?) that he is a big, hunky hero.
And don’t hesitate, because if he cheats (which is bad, because all real relationships are monogamous, right?) then it’s your fault for owning too many pantssuits.
Thanks man whisperers, you’ve gone a real service to your gender.
I made the mistake of clicking on this article. I got to this paragraph and had to stop reading:
The bottom line? Ladies looking for long-lasting love need to whip off the pants and replace them with a sweet skirt, and zip the lip when it comes to rattling off their novel-sized list of credentials and achievements, the authors say.
Trying not to puke now.
~Rosie -
A(n)nals of Online Dating: Fine. Every time you rescue a kitten from a burning building, I will shave my legs. Deal?
But men have an obligation to rescue kittens from burning buildings, pay for your drinks, hold the door open for you, keep their hair neat, go to war and many other things. I’m just saying… Society worldwide really does put more obligations on men than women all around. There are few things women…
(Source: annalsofonlinedating)
-
Dumb Things White People Say: Privilege helps.
If you’re extremely light skinned or white skinned
and dating someone long term
your skin color almost undoubtedly helped
whether you wanted it to, or realized it did, or not.
It really does help. Even if it took me forever to get into a longterm…
Can I just note that I’ve heard a lot of white guys say they would never date a black girl, but might make an exception if she was light skinned or biracial. Many guys find Beyonce and Halle Barry attractive, who are both light skinned and/or biracial. Because white guys find black women so unattractive, we are usually limited to dating ONLY black men, as they’re the only ones to see as as attractive.
And even THAT rate is getting smaller because black MEN are not limited to only dating in their race. Women of other races who date black men, while not to downplay whatever feelings they may have for the person, will be seen as “progressive” and “not racist” for dating a black man. And black men will be seen as leveling up for having a white, Asian, light skinned black, or non-dark skinned PoC woman. This isn’t new; if you read Zora Neal Hurston’s Their Eyes Were Watching God, the main character, Janey, makes other black men jealous of her husband because she’s light skinned. She’s seen as more desirable because she’s light skinned. And unlike other black women in the story, she’s able to leave her husband to pursue love, and move on to another, even younger man (which was a no-no for women back then), after her second husband dies. In other words, she goes through three marriages in her life, while black women are basically forced to be tied down to the one guy they got in young life. To assume that her being light skinned didn’t help her have those options is naive.
And especially since a lot of black men in academia tend to date outside of their race, this explains the phenomenon of black women tending to date and marry men below their academic level. In most relationships, people date in the same academic level. So people who just have a high school education tend to date people with high school education while people with doctorates tend to date other people with doctorates. When black women are the only race in which the women go to, and graduate from, college at a higher rate than their men, this already limits which men we would find desirable (again remember that MOST-not all but most-people wish to date in their same academic level). And when the black men on this level are less likely to date black women, this GREATLY limits who a black women might able to date. And since unlike our black men, women don’t have the options to just date outside their race, they can either do one of two things; get used to most likely not dating much in their life, or dating below their academic level to open up more options. Again, this is why black women are usually seen dating below their academic level or are seen as one of those “career-oriented” women who are too busy with their careers to date. Though that’s not the case, but people think of us that way and the blame is put on US for not finding guys when we are seen as so undesirable.
because this is some real shit right hurr
-
White Men’s Hostility to Black Women: A Deeper Look
Census data reveal that the interracial marriage rate of black women (and mainly white men) has only modestly increased from 1% in 1970 to 4.1% in 2000. Research also shows that black women are overwhelmingly excluded as interracial dating partners, with one study showing that white men excluded black women as dating options at 93 percent.
…
“Just the term ‘black women’ conjures up thoughts of an overweight, dark-skinned, loud, poorly educated person with gold teeth yelling at somebody in public. I hope that doesn’t make me racist but honestly that’s the 1st thing I think of.”
This respondent is middle-class with no black female friends, rare interactions with black families growing up, and who states his interactions with black women only consist of work-related experiences, yet, he expresses strong racialized, gendered, and classed views of black women as the first impressions that come to his mind.
Two things I don’t like about this:
1. There is no account taken of whether or not black women feel happy about dating white men. A quick scan of craigslist (which is entirely anonymous) indicates that this is not the case; that in may cases black women want to date black men exclusively. Is this also racist? [WARNING: THE PLURAL OF ANECDOTE IS NOT DATA] I have a very mixed racial pool of friends, and I’ve never had a black girl show any kind of romantic interest in me. I’ve had Asian girls, and Mexican girls, and white girls and so on show some sort of romantic interest, however fleeting or light-hearted, but it’s never happened with any my black female friends. What does that mean?
2. There is a very sinister and disturbing implication throughout this piece that it is the function of the white man to choose his mate. That he gets to make that decision, and if he does not choose you, you are disenfranchised as a result. I should hope that the days when the white man’s decisions are accepted as the default setting, or even exalted, are over.
-
HORMONAL TRANS REX: Can ya'll do me a favor?
Can I get opinions from ya’ll?
What are your ~feelings~ on self-proclaimed lesbians who date transgender men? (Or, self-proclaimed gay men who date transgender women)
I don’t care where you tell me; reblog this, send me an ask - anon or not, whatever.
I HAVE NEVER, EVER,…
(Source: holdontoyourassbutts)
